Through the Darkness
by QueenofPrydein
Summary: If the world is split between darkness and light, what happens to those left in the shadows between? AxelxNamine


Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts

There are some spoilers in this, as it takes place after the end of Kingdom Hearts II.

I always liked these two characters, and I feel that the games didn't really go in depth with them as they could have. Also, I like to write and my roomie likes fan fiction. So... it seemed like a nice little present for her. On the other hand, I live on affirmation, and I needed someone to assess my work, so... comments are of course much appreciated.

* * *

"Are you there?"

His voice was faint, but insistent.

"I'm here, Roxas. I'm coming."

_Shift_.

I felt myself, like waking up without ever opening my eyes, pulled into the world of light. I felt myself smiling and I knew that I was back in the real world. The world with Roxas.

"I'm so glad to see you again." He held me, and I knew that Sora and Kairi were with one another again. The world was as it should be.

"Roxas?" I asked, tenatively, "Do you go to the same place-- that shadowy place-- whenever you're not with me?"

Roxas was still with me, but he seemed rather confused. _Shift_.

We were pulled apart again.

I had the sensation of floating, without weight, without time, without feeling. I was numb without the sensation of numbness. No tingling, no feeling. I was nothing. I was Nobody. If I had lips, though, I would have smiled.

Roxas was out there, somewhere in the world, and he cared. I had never had anyone to care for me before. The world had been one long stretch of loneliness and waiting. I had all the knowledge, now, and the memories of Kairi, but before I saw Sora, I didn't even have that. I waited, alone in the white room, with my drawings and my melancholy. And then I met Sora, who was Roxas.

I knew the moment I saw him that he would end my loneliness. And he did. Before we ever spoke to one another, he made me feel like there was someone else in the world who understood. He was a Nobody, too. Unlike all the others, though, he didn't seem interested in world domination. Even without a heart, he had a _soul. _I wanted to be with him, close to him, to talk to him and find out about how he's made it.

_Shift_.

We reached for one another again, and I was completed once more. I called his name, and he touched my face. I could feel it, even though neither of us had our own bodies anymore. Like knowing someone is in the room with you, even when you can't see them. Roxas was _with_ me.

"What were you saying? I can't remember." He seemed apologetic, and I laughed.

"No, it's not terribly important. I just go... somewhere else... whenever we're not together. Whenever Sora and Kairi are apart." I felt like I needed to say more, but I couldn't think of a way to describe it. It was... nothing.

"I think we go to the same kind of place. It's like being without being. Gosh, Namine, I don't know. It's someplace without... _anything._" He chuckled at himself. He wasn't making much sense, but then again, neither was I.

"Yeah, I know. I wonder if we could find each other there, too. You know, then we could talk to each other more. I feel like we're always rushed this way."

Roxas froze for a moment. "We can't, 'Ne. I've tried."

"Oh." I hadn't even thought about it before then. I had been out there, alone, with nothing but my thoughts, and I hadn't tried to reach out to him. Part of me was feeling very guilty, and I wanted to let him know that I _had _been thinking of him.

_Shift._

He was gone again, and I was alone. I tried, for a moment, struggling against my insubstantial surroundings, to find Roxas. He was right. Wherever we were, we couldn't be together.

My thoughts drifted again, and I wondered at myself. I had been floating in this ether of nothingness for quite some time now, and it didn't seem like I was doing anything but thinking of myself. I had spent so many years alone, growing up with nothing but myself to talk to, unless there was an Organization member to threaten me for awhile.

Except one.

Unbidden, I remembered Axel. A flash of fiery red hair and even hotter temper, he was with me in Castle Oblivion, but he seemed different from the other Organization members, too. Not like Roxas. He didn't draw me in like Roxas did, but he was kind. I was always grateful when he came in, rather than terrified. I had cried when I realized that Axel was truly dead. I had always known he was more noble than he put on, and he had died a noble death. Thinking of him, lying there, happy to finally fulfill his purpose, my heart ached.

I was surprised to realize that I missed him. _Got it memorized?_ I could almost hear him behind me; I could imagine the sardonic half-grin he would put on whenever he was confronted by the other members of the Organization.

With a chill, I realized he _was_ behind me. He was with me in my nothingness.

_Shift_.

"Axel?!" My startled shout must have been very loud indeed. I realized, looking through Kairi's eyes once more in the back of my mind, that they had stopped whatever _very_ warm greeting she and Sora had engaged in. The shout must have echoed through both their skulls.

"Axel's gone, 'Ne. He died when he saved Sora. I told you all this." Roxas was obviously very hurt, and I didn't even have time to realize that he was still holding hurt that I hadn't tried to find him in the inbetween place. I knew he still felt Axel's death keenly. I couldn't imagine. Axel was his only friend for so long.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Roxas. I must be imagining things. I had the weirdest feeling, right before I got back. The Shadowy Place does strange things to my head."

Roxas shook his head, as though to clear it. " I know. Sometimes... sometimes I feel like the old members of the Organization are there with me. Like I can still hear Saix or Zexion. Not like they're threatening me, though God knows they would, but just... there. I dunno. It's all very strange."

I took a bit of comfort in his presence. "I hear you. Gosh, Rox, I don't really want to talk about it anymore. It's too weird. It makes me a little afraid to go back."

Roxas all but whispered in my ear, "Don't worry, 'Ne. I won't let anything happen to you. You stole my heart when I didn't even have one. I'll find you wherever you go."

My whole being flooded with warmth, and I savored the feeling of being loved. He held me, noncorporeal as we both were, and I couldn't help but feel like I didn't deserve it. So much love.

_Shift._

I could have cried. Not one little moment? I didn't get to just _be_ with him for just a little while? It was like the whole universe wanted me to be alone and sad. Even when I gave Sora back his memories, knowing that he would forget me. Even when I helped Sora and Kairi get back safely, giving Sora his chance to save the day. I never asked for anything. I just wanted to be with Roxas.

I spent so much time without anyone to care for me. Without a single soul who would miss me if I just.. vanished. And now, now there was a person that I wanted to be with on the other side of this Shadowy Place and I couldn't even be with him for a small time, we couldn't share a moment because the only way for that to happen was for Sora and Kairi to spend some quality time.

Suddenly, I felt arms around me. Noncorporeal arms, but real nonetheless.

"Hey, babe. Don't cry. It's okay."

I wrenched away with all my being, terrified.

"You--- you're dead. You can't be here. God, I must be going crazy." Too much time alone, I thought. It'll make you see things.

"No, kid. You don't get it yet, do you?" It was Axel, alright. _Kid?_

"Fine, Axel, what don't I get? What _is_ this place?" I thought I could almost feel something physical, like part of me was waking up. I swatted away at the feeling. This was a place of nothingness, and I was resigned to it. I almost liked it a little bit, not having a body or feeling anywhere.

"This place is heaven. And hell. And... well, any kind of afterlife you could imagine. Some of us come here to wait, and some of us come here to live again. But it's an inbetween sort of place. You're not really dead, and you're not really alive. But you, Namine, you keep popping in and out of here like--"

_Shift. _

"Namine!" I could feel Roxas holding on to me tightly. "I thought I was alone. I was calling for you here and I couldn't find you. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, I just--" I realized belatedly that while Axel had been talking, I was feeling the pull that tugged at me whenever Kairi and Sora were together. The pull that drew me to Roxas. And I had ignored it, even rejected it. He was so worried.

"But you're alright, aren't you? I mean, nothing's going wrong?"

"Yeah, Rox, I'm doing alright. I don't know what happened. I didn't realize you were calling to me."

He held me for a moment in relief, and I murmured soothing words at him. But all I could think, all that crossed through my mind was, _What happened?_


End file.
